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Simpsons Quotes
Although there are too many to show all of them,
the following is just a small sampling of the funniest quotes from "The Simpsons"
Click here for More Quotes
Quote 1:
After the Simpsons are robbed by the cat burglar:
Lisa: We are insured, aren't we?
Marge: Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance.
Homer (to himself): Curse you magic beans!
Marge: Oh, stop blaming the beans.
Quote 2:
Apu and Homer journey long and far to find the CEO of the Kwik-E-Mart chain who resides in India. Apu is looking to get his job back which he lost. The CEO grants the two men
3 and ONLY 3 questions:
Kwik-E CEO: You may ask me 3 questions.
Apu: That's great because I only need one.
Homer (interrupting): Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
Kwik-E CEO: Yes.
Homer: Really?
Kwik-E CEO: Yes
Homer: Really?
Kwik-E CEO: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.
Apu: But I must...
Kwik-E CEO (interrupting): Thank-you, come again.
Quote 3
At the audition that Mr. Burns is holding to find a new heir to his fortune.
Milhouse (class dork): I have nothing to offer you but my love.
Burns: I specifically said, "No geeks!"
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool.
Burns: Next.
Nelson (class bully): Gimme your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in!
Mr. Burns: Oh, I like his energy. Put him on the call back list.
Martin (class nerd, teacher's pet): (Singing) Clang, clang, clang went the trolley/ Ring, ring, ring went the bell/
Zing, zing, zing went my heartstrings.../ Oooh! (Nelson gives him a nice solid punch.)
Burns: Thank you. Give the bully an extra point.
Quote 4:
Homer is kicked out of his favorite bar "Moe's Tavern", so he goes around to different bars trying to find one that is right for him. At one point he goes into a bar filled with women called the She-She lounge.
Homer: Wait a minute, there's something bothering me about this place... Homer thinks to himself for a few moments.
Homer: I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap ladies!
Woman in bar: What was her problem?